Updated: Jul 11, 2020
How is it that there's still something left inside you? Dear friend Dear you Dear me, he, she, her, they Stop. Breathe. Everyone will try to box you in according to their limited knowledge of normalcy while the truth is it doesn't even exist. I've forgotten what being normal actually feels like. Its okay to be sad at times Its okay to have mood swings Its okay to be empty at times. Stop Just stop.
Stop lying to me.
Its okay for you because you don't understand the intensity, because you wouldn't think about it when you go back to your place, your sleep wouldn't disrupt because of it. So stop reassuring me and my pain by saying its okay when clearly it isn't. It never was.
I've learned to hide underneath this mask. I've learned to smile in-front of people like you who at first wants to know what you're going through to look like someone who cares then straightaway jump into conclusion that it's okay. Dude ,how come it is when I see my time fading away. When this hatred for self grows exponentially every single day. When I see my face in the mirror and see an empty face, a broken soul. Don't tell me broken is beautiful. Broken is as dangerous as a sharp knife, as painful as a needle. The more we romanticize the idea of brokenness, the harder it gets to make people understand the gravity of the situation.
The point here is not that we hide it, the point is why we do it. The reason is people wants to fix it, solve it like an algebraic equation.
I don't want to be at the receiving end all the time.
So I shut myself up.
But this time with a LESSON.